


Schrödinger’s Mask

by silvercobwebs



Category: Deadpool (Comics), Marvel, Spider-Man (Comicverse), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Body Image, Domestic, Humor, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Quantum Mechanics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-27
Updated: 2012-06-27
Packaged: 2017-11-08 17:41:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/445775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvercobwebs/pseuds/silvercobwebs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wade has a problem. With quantum physics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Schrödinger’s Mask

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little fun bit of fluff to celebrate getting my first 1k hits on 'Yoko Ono'. Thank you fellow fans!

'Yargh! Nononono, you can't!' Wade screeched as Peter's fingers abruptly stopped their ascent toward his neck. 

It was the middle of the night, the couch was nothing but lumps and all Peter wanted to do was to make out with his “I'm not your boyfriend! I'm your not girlfriend.” - _whatever_ he was, but things were never that simple with Deadpool, now were they? Okay, so they weren't exactly simple for him either, but at least he wasn't the one currently prattling on about deceased felines and nerdy TV shows with unfair biases toward other companies. What, what? 

'What is it?'

'You can't take it off,' Wade declared, moving Peter's free hand down to his knee, giving it an awkward pat. 'Because - _science_.'

Peter cocked his head. 'I can't take off your mask because of...science? Have you been watching Mythbusters again?' He shifted in his seat, dislodging a particularly irritating lump from between the cushions – so that's where his copy of Galaxy Quest had ended up – and waited for the inevitable lengthy explanation. 

'Oh you know' Wade sighed dismissively, with the casual air of someone who regularly lectured in Quantum Bullshit 101 . 'The dead cat guy.'

The dead cat...oh dear. 'Do you mean Erwin Schrödinger, as in Schrodinger's Cat?' Peter frowned. 'How did you ever hear about him and why do you think this suddenly applies to you? You can draw a picture if there's too many big words to remember.'

'I like the colouring pens that smell like strawberries the best,' Wade mused before he decided to take offence. 'Why wouldn't I know about that stuff anyway? I read!'

'The back of a Lucky Charms box does not count as reading.'

Wade sniffed indignantly. 'So maybe it was a TV show, I don't know! TV, YouTube, passing-by science nerds who get all green and pissy cheerios when you start asking about what happens when they're getting freaky and suddenly Hulk out. I mean, does the girl get smooshed by a giant Hulk peeny, or-'

'Focus, Wade.' Peter squeezed his hand. 

'Right. Dead cats.' He scratched his neck, pausing. 'Well the thing is,' Wade vaguely gestured towards his covered features. 'I'm the cat. I mean potentially, I could be like super duper hotter than Cap and Johnny Storm's mutant baby lovechild (I think I read a fanfic about that once. Dude, Mpreg is _fucked-up_.) under here or I could, y'know....be The Thing meets hamburger grinder like usual. I dunno. It's all fangirls and wacky continuity crap. Hey!' Wade brightened. 'Do you think I'd get proper fangirls if I am pretty? Do you think they'd love me for my adorable kittenish nature or just because I have an ass you can bounce a quarter off?'

Peter blinked. 

'Wade...'

'I know, I know.' He groaned. 'It's both, right? Hence the cat problem. I'm both under here, and it kinda _itches_.'

Leaning in close, Peter took the other man by the shoulder and glared. 'I don't really care about Schrodinger's Cat or physics right now, and I especially don't care about how you may or may not look.'

'But what if-' Wade began. 

'But I do think,' Peter continued, his fingers stroking over the nape of Wade's neck in that annoying way that made Wade want to cling to him desperately and make dolphin noises, 'that you're still a whole heap of crazy issues, but that's mostly okay.'

That was okay? That – being his head - _his_ \- “wouldn't it be awesome to cherry bomb the men's toilets at the nearest Hydra base” head was acceptable in Spidey land? This clearly called for a devastating retort. 

'Bzuh?'

There was something so eminently satisfying in making Wade speechless, or at least mostly incoherent for a few precious moments.'You see, the thing people forget with Schrodinger?' Peter carefully explained, his fingers straying a little higher, 'was that he used this as an argument of why quantum mechanics didn't quite add up to him. It was a joke that got out of hand.'

'Ahh,' Wade said, doing his best to sound wise. 'So the cat (potentially) died for no good reason after all, huh?'

'Besides,' Peter smiled, shuffling even closer, nearly on Wade's lap. 'I promise I'll still like you even if you're prettier than me.'

'That's not what I – oh,' said Wade as he felt fresh air on his face and warm lips against his own. 

Who knew science could be so sexy? 

 

-end


End file.
